Meeting Warriors Gifts

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"Camera not working."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'A good idea, Fletcher? So was your last one. Which, I recall, brought us to the brink of bankruptcy!'

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

ZZZZZZZoom

"An occasional heads up would be nice."

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

Speed Dating

Dorothy and the singles bar

"'When will the endless meetings stop?' Are you trying to get something done?!!!"

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

"Denise, for this afternoon's meeting, get some facts and place them at my fingertips."

I haven't been hired yet.

'Are you willing to change your name to Bob Smith?'

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

"That's two 'ayes', two 'nays' and a 'whatever'."