Virtual Meet-up Warrior Gifts

ZZZZZZZoom

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

Zoom Christmas

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

Negative Interest Meeting

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Camera not working."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

The First Zoom Thanksgiving

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"'When will the endless meetings stop?' Are you trying to get something done?!!!"

Back to Zoom Savings

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

"I don't care if it is the most realistic World War II simulator game, I still refuse to salute you."

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

"Howdy, Boss! I put the laptop on a rotating platform so we can all take turns saying 'Hi'!"

'Of course this game is educational; how else could I prepare for a zombie apocalypse.'

Modern Dating Hazards

"Use backlighting, you won't stand out."

'Are 3-D, high definition webinars really necessary?'

"Your ten o'clock cancelled. He doesn't like the way his skin gets all wrinkly."