Relationship Supporter Gifts

"I DO like you. YOU don't like you."

'And don't let the boss intimidate you today, honey. Remember, he puts his pants on six legs at a time, the same as you!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Window Treatment

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Layer cake

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

Urns in love

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"It's not you-it's me."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'