Alternative Relationship Supporter Gifts

"I'm sorry, young man, I just can't go through with this ceremony!"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"My computer just texted me."

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Couple

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Complaints departement for men and women.

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'