Alternative Relationship Supporter Pillows

"I'm sorry, young man, I just can't go through with this ceremony!"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

Couple

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"She left you, Larry — you really have to stop beating yourself up over it."

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

Preachers with far too much input