Relationship Advocate Gifts

'I'm being a good boy for the sake their marriage.'

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

"Well, you wouldn't tell me how much you earned, so I didn't tell you how much we owed."

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Dolphin friendly tuna

Paint pots in love

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"My computer just texted me."

Urns in love

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

"You can always count on me."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."