Relationship Advicer Gifts

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"My computer just texted me."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'You've changed since we got married.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."