Relationship Advicer T-Shirts

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My computer just texted me."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Hollywood Breakup

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."