Married Life Champion Gifts

"Honey, am I getting the cauliflower crust pizza, or the pizza crust cauliflower?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"The best thing about our relationship is that we keep growing together."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

Couple

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"You call that worrying?"

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"It's your husband, Mrs. Thompson. He's come unraveled again."

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Mrs. Almighty.