Married Life Champion Mugs

"Honey, am I getting the cauliflower crust pizza, or the pizza crust cauliflower?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Couple

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

"You call that worrying?"

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"It's your husband, Mrs. Thompson. He's come unraveled again."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

Mrs. Almighty.

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'