Marriage Satire Collector Gifts

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

The finer points of marriage.

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

Slave Drivers.

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"I never thought I'd get married again."

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

My boss is a real turd.

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'