Divorce Satire Collector Gifts

'Steve's divorce was really harsh - His wife got the house.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

My boss is a real turd.

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

'I accept that a dog can be a man's best friend but I'm afraid that doesn't qualify you to speak on the defendant's behalf...'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'

'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."