Marriage Fan Gifts

'The coalition of the willing.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

'...Love, honour, obey, and wipe that silly grin off your face?'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

"Forget it, Carl."

'To be perfectly honest, I cross the road to get away from my husband.'

"It's his favorite time of year."

"I'll be back – I'm going to run from my emotions."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

Married people live longer

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

'Oh sit down Harold, Alice doesn't want to hear our problems!'

'I don't really want to report my wife missing-just her voice will do.'

Royal Wedding - Car with celebratory union flags,

How you can tell when someone else buys your clothes.