Marriage Fan Pillows

'The coalition of the willing.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

'I told you he had a temper.'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'...Love, honour, obey, and wipe that silly grin off your face?'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

"I'll be back – I'm going to run from my emotions."

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

"It's his favorite time of year."

Married people live longer

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'To be perfectly honest, I cross the road to get away from my husband.'

"Forget it, Carl."

'Oh sit down Harold, Alice doesn't want to hear our problems!'

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

'I don't really want to report my wife missing-just her voice will do.'