Marriage Commentary Fan Pillows

"We divided it up so I do everything right and he does everything wrong."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'The coalition of the willing.'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

"I'll be back – I'm going to run from my emotions."

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"It's his favorite time of year."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

QANON PROUD BOY

'To be perfectly honest, I cross the road to get away from my husband.'

Married people live longer