Marriage Commentary Lover Pillows

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

Google Translate for Marriagese

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"Why do you always side with him?!"

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

Angry wife and a drunken husband will need medical assistance.

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

"...for better OR worse, not AND."

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'

"I thought celibacy only happened if you got married."

"Don't you think we've done enough 'begetting'?"

"Separate clouds, please."

"I lined it up with our prenup."