Marriage Commentary Lover Gifts

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

Google Translate for Marriagese

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"I liked you better as my first husband."

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

Michael Jackson from the Thriller video...and at a recent court appearance.

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"...for better OR worse, not AND."

'I wish you wouldn't refer to me as your running mate!'

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

"Why don't you try walking it off?"

"Why do you always side with him?!"

Angry wife and a drunken husband will need medical assistance.

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'

'Marital Status?' - 'Henpecked.'

"I lined it up with our prenup."

"I thought celibacy only happened if you got married."

"You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!"

"Separate clouds, please."