Marriage Commentary Admirer Pillows

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Your rhino, or mine?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

'Do you want to see a movie tonight?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

Hats and Greetings

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'Dear Henry, and dear Liza, for the sake of the relationship, just buy a new bucket!'

"Trying to auction me won't work!"

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

Blarney Stone Romance

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"Why do you always side with him?!"

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

"...for better OR worse, not AND."

Snow White

"I didn't have this in mind when you said you'd make breakfast in bed!"

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'

Anti-Vax: Death Cult

"I lined it up with our prenup."