Marital Commentator Pillows

"Why do you always side with him?!"

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"I decided to spend the money and have my legs waxed."

"You call that worrying?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.