Marriage Commitment Commentator Pillows

Em"And do you, Gloria, take Norman to be your emergency contact person?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

Marriage & Divorce.

"Now who's being judgy?"

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I don't see what you see in him."

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"I liked you better as my first husband."

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'