Commitment Commentators Pillows

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

Monogamy

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Preachers with far too much input

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

Marriage & Divorce.

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

Lovers' Leap

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'