Commitment Commentators Gifts

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Monogamy

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Preachers with far too much input

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

Marriage & Divorce.

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

Lovers' Leap