Commandment Commentator Gifts

"Nothing about Day Trading?"

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"The way I see it, the Constitution cuts both ways. The First Amendment gives you the right to say what you want, but the Second Amendment gives me the right to shoot you for it."

Marriage & Divorce.

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

China proposes changing constitution

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"... No, you're not my first husband. But, you're the first one who's ever been married to me."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'