Commandment Critic Gifts

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"But, Lord, aren't these tablet a graven image?"

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Look...a fresh one!'

"Can't we put in something about rich white guys don't have to pay taxes?"

Preachers with far too much input

"VIP's are coming. Quick! Hide the visionaries."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

China proposes changing constitution

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Now that you are all my little drones, I encourage you to speak my mind."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

...If we have to hang around together, don't act like a nut.

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'