Commandment Connoisseurs Gifts

'What's the penalty for backsliding?'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"You call this a constitution?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Henrik Ibsen,

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Come on! A computer can't plead the fifth.'

"Mr. Reagan, do you swear to tell the truth..."

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"The Doge ate my homework."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

Clarence Thomas

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'