Commandment Curator Gifts

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

"Thats ok I respect your decision and I'll phone you when the three months are up."

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'