Commandment Crusher Gifts

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'Well, we made it.'

New Years Reolutions

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

Boris promises to pursue a Brexit deal with OOMPH!

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'