Commandment Chuckler Gifts

'He promises us manna and give us commandments - Classic bait-and-switch!'

"There better not be anything in there about the lust of food."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

One way only.

"The subwoofers really help."

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"The cookies are always stale."

"...And now show us what you said."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'So, Cameron and Clegg have formed a coition.' - 'Sorry, coalition.' - 'Reminder to self. 'No more cheese before bed time.''

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

"He thinks you're playing fetch."