Commandment Jokester Gifts

Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

McWit Legal College

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

"How's your exercise class going?"

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Whatever you do, don't let them see the real you.'

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

'He promises us manna and give us commandments - Classic bait-and-switch!'