Commitment Jokester Gifts

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'I like my women like I like my mortgages; flexible & easily spread over many years.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes ... no!"

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

'Is this a trick question?'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'