Commitment Jokers Gifts

"I now declare a thumb war."

Bad wedding

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"Yes ... no!"

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Artist Painting his Television.

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'