Commitment-phobe Humor Gifts

'My steve is terrified of commitment - he won't even subscribe to magazines.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Yes ... no!"

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Various Traps.

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."