Commitment-phobic Humorist Gifts

'What do you say, Betty - 'buyer's remorse'?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Dating Death

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"