Commitment Phobia Comedian Gifts

'Look, just take 'no' for an answer.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes ... no!"

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'Is this a trick question?'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."