Commitment Phobia Comedian T-Shirts

'Look, just take 'no' for an answer.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"Yes ... no!"

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

'Is this a trick question?'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'