Commitment Issue Humorist Gifts

"My hobbies are Celia, Irene, Trisha and Jane."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Yes ... no!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'I do...with reservations.'

"If you'll have me, I'd like to be your blind spot."

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

"It's getting serious - he left his stuff."

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Is this a trick question?'

'I'll need four character references.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."