Commitment Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'I do...with reservations.'

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

First Marriage

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

'In just six hours you will be simultaneously cured of your fear of snakes, heights, small spaces and commitment.'

What fear of commitment? Frank (heart) Lisa. W.T. Loves J.S. George + Gracie. O.H. Loves S.L. Lucy (heart) Ricky.

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"We're planning a very long shelf life together."

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

Lady who has just accepted a proposal.

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."