Commitment Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'I do...with reservations.'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

First Marriage

"We're planning a very long shelf life together."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

Lady who has just accepted a proposal.

"Sure, I love you, but I can't stand to be hurt again."

"I like your slavish attention to detail."