Commitment-phobe Gifts

"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

"I've been looking for a relationship with no strings attached."

'See? Nobody wants to make a commitment anymore!' (Sign says 'Stop - or whatever')

'That's way too expensive. If I had that kind of money, I could afford to move out of town and buy a new identity.'

"I don’t want to get married but I’ve always loved the idea of being a widow."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"It's not like me to have chronic pain. I'm commitment-adverse!"

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"I'm just not ready for a relationship based on mutual respect."

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

"I decided not to get married. . . there are too many 'cringe benefits'."

"Just to be sure, before I finish inking, is it a solid, long-term relationship?"

"I was a lovebird dear but now I'm a foolaroundbird."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"I think my new relationship is moving way too fast: we've only had two dates, and she's already asking me to build her a nest!"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'I can let you have this one at a good price. The owner had a change of heart and left town in a hurry.'

"You know how to please, but not to love."

'You can't come out with me tonight because you got married yesterday? How about tomorrow night?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I'll marry you, but I'm not interested in a long-term relationship.'

'Careful, Chum - they're bad for your circulation!'

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

'I'm sorry, Walter, but marriage doesn't have portable benefits.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Walter has been undecided since 1984.'

'Let's pick up where we left off last week -- your fear of commitment...'

"I know we had some good times together, but a permanent relationship is out."

Dating Death