Commitment-phobe Gifts

"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

'That's way too expensive. If I had that kind of money, I could afford to move out of town and buy a new identity.'

'See? Nobody wants to make a commitment anymore!' (Sign says 'Stop - or whatever')

"I've been looking for a relationship with no strings attached."

"I don’t want to get married but I’ve always loved the idea of being a widow."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"It's not like me to have chronic pain. I'm commitment-adverse!"

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

"I'm just not ready for a relationship based on mutual respect."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Careful, Chum - they're bad for your circulation!'

'I'll marry you, but I'm not interested in a long-term relationship.'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

'I'm sorry, Walter, but marriage doesn't have portable benefits.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Walter has been undecided since 1984.'

'Let's pick up where we left off last week -- your fear of commitment...'

"I know we had some good times together, but a permanent relationship is out."

Dating Death

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships.'

'I can let you have this one at a good price. The owner had a change of heart and left town in a hurry.'

'You can't come out with me tonight because you got married yesterday? How about tomorrow night?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Honey, will you stay with me until I do us part?"

"I assume you're looking for something short term."

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."

"You know how to please, but not to love."

"I think my new relationship is moving way too fast: we've only had two dates, and she's already asking me to build her a nest!"

"I was a lovebird dear but now I'm a foolaroundbird."