Commitment Phobic Gifts

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

"Sorry, Wendy, but a simple 'yes' is not good enough. I want a mandate."

"I just knew you lacked commitment."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"...For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or divorce do you part?"

Man has a can of tuna in his fishbowl.

'By the time you read this I'll have received my lottery winnings (and gone).'

Marriage Counsellor, Living Together Counsellor, Just Screwing Around Counsellor.

'He said he's not ready to make a commitment until he knows how things turn out in light of the Mayan calendar predictions.'

'Do you, John, promise to return the tux on time and in good condition.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"It's not really serious, but I am seeing another anchor."

"I honestly don't know what you're waiting for. By the time I was your age, I'd been married twice."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

'It can't last.'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'