Commitment Phobic Gifts

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

"Sorry, Wendy, but a simple 'yes' is not good enough. I want a mandate."

"I just knew you lacked commitment."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"...For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or divorce do you part?"

Man has a can of tuna in his fishbowl.

'By the time you read this I'll have received my lottery winnings (and gone).'

Marriage Counsellor, Living Together Counsellor, Just Screwing Around Counsellor.

'He said he's not ready to make a commitment until he knows how things turn out in light of the Mayan calendar predictions.'

'Do you, John, promise to return the tux on time and in good condition.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

I do if she does. I do if he does. I have a bad feeling about this.

Hello, Susie, it's R

"It's not really serious, but I am seeing another anchor."

"I honestly don't know what you're waiting for. By the time I was your age, I'd been married twice."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Dating Death