Commitment-phobe Club Member Gifts

"I was thinking we could settle down. And when the time comes, two to seven days in the spring. When your only actually fertile for twenty fourt to thirty six hours, we could try and start a family."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Yes ... no!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'