Commitment-phobe Club Member Pillows

"I was thinking we could settle down. And when the time comes, two to seven days in the spring. When your only actually fertile for twenty fourt to thirty six hours, we could try and start a family."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Dating Death

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."