Commitment-phobe Fan Gifts

"Will you marry me for a few years?"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'