Commitment-phobic Chuckle Gifts

'On second thought, maybe I'll shop around a little first.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Dating Death

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

"A fear of heights, eh? Fear of commitment more like it!"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."