Commandment Jester Gifts

'Hey, why don't You make the Sabbath on Saturday, and then on Sundays we can play golf!'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Dog walking Human.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'This mission-statement is complete gibberish, Hudson. Well done.'

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

New Years Reolutions

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

Trump the Jester

"It's called 'Merger.'"

'We've had to pool our resources.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Blue Sky Thinking.

"In business it's called "constant contact." In society it's called "stalking"".

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

"I had my people get in touch with your people, and you know what? We have the same people."

Psychobabble.

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"