Commandment Connoisseur Gifts

'Here you go -- Don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"You call this a constitution?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

S**t Threw a Goose

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

'Does it come on Disc?'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Come on! A computer can't plead the fifth.'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"Mr. Reagan, do you swear to tell the truth..."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

Clarence Thomas

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.