Commandment Collector Gifts

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'These are number 11 through 20. They're the sequel to the original 10.'

"Behold, the ten commandments of highly successful people!"

Moses's tablets read Buy One, Get One Free.

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'A ten commandments franchise.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, I don't welcome dissenting views!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"We'd better do these in increments of ten - These people have TERRIBLE attention spans."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"Caltonia says you plagiarized his incantation for changing tin into platinum."

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

"I thought you must of been drunk last night, when you told everyone your real age."

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'