Commandment Collectors Gifts

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

"I thought you must of been drunk last night, when you told everyone your real age."

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

"Behold, the ten commandments of highly successful people!"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."