Commandment Carrier Gifts

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'