Scripture Jester Gifts

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

A baby in court

Books / Coffee table books

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"...And now show us what you said."

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

Disorder in the Court!

"The charge is loitering, your honor."