Commandment Crusher T-Shirts

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Well, we made it.'

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

Boris promises to pursue a Brexit deal with OOMPH!

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?